You Can’t Add Days to Your Life, But You Can Add Life to Your Days
When Busy Stops Being a Badge of Honor
There’s a story I keep coming back to from Sahil Bloom’s book. He wrote about how, for years, he wore “busy” like a badge of honor—proud of the endless meetings, travel, and grind of his big job. Then, during a coffee with a wise friend who asked him how often he saw his parents, he was startled by his own answer: “Once, maybe twice a year.”
His friend did the math and told him that, at that rate, he might only see his parents 20 more times before they were gone. That realization hit him hard. Eventually, it led him to quit his all-important job, move closer to his parents, and finally start a family with his wife.
That story stays with me because it shines a light on something most of us avoid facing: time is finite. We can’t stretch it, we can’t rewind it. It’s the one resource that is truly elusive—when it’s gone, it’s gone. It’s a sobering story for anyone who wears “busy” like a badge of honor.
There’s another story I keep coming back to that shares the same principle as Sahil’s, but with a softer blow (well, maybe). You might have seen it floating around Instagram or TikTok from Modern Family. One of the characters, Jay, reflects on raising kids:
“You fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then… bam… they’re gone. But it’s okay, because in its place is this toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler’s gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you’ve ever heard… until they grow up. And then, in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.”
I can’t hear this trending audio without breaking into a full-blown sob, because it’s both funny and heartbreaking all at once. And as a mom of an almost-two-year-old (the fastest yet slowest two years of my life), it leaves me with an important question:
If we can’t add days to our life, how do we add life to our days?
The Wake Up Call
The other morning, I was getting Charlie ready for school. It was one of those rushed weekdays where the clock—and my inner dialogue about being late to my desk—felt louder than anything else in the house. As Charlie and I rushed around collecting everything she needed for school, and searching for her ever-elusive shoes, I realized we hadn’t yet brushed her teeth, done her hair, or finished her favorite part of the morning routine: lotion.
I sat her on the counter, and we worked our way through the checklist—teeth, hair, lotion. When I closed the lotion lid, she said, “More shoshin,” with a giggle of delight. The ticking clock in my head flinched at the thought of spending another second on lotion. My first reaction was, “No, baby, all done.” But she pressed: “More shoshin, Mommyyyyy.”
Hearing her sweet voice innocently begging for the simplest thing—just more lotion—woke me up.
This was the exact moment Jay was talking about in that Modern Family episode: “This toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth,” and then bam, they’re gone.
Right now, she calls it “shoshin,” and she can never get enough of it. I don’t know when that started, and I have no idea when I’ll hear her say “more shoshin” for the last time. The only thing I know for sure is that one day I will. And when that day comes, I hope I’ll have indulged in every instance I could have possibly soaked in—because one day I will miss this more than I can imagine.
That morning, instead of rushing, I slowed down. I let her have “more shoshin” as many times as she wanted. I rubbed it on her chubby little thighs and all over her plump arms. She smeared an absurd amount on her toes and, of course, didn’t rub it in one bit.
For a moment, my to-do list and emails waiting for me evaporated. It was just us, the smell of her clementine lotion, her giggles, and a fleeting stage of childhood I know won’t last forever.
It struck me later that these are the moments that make me feel the most alive. Just a Tuesday morning with “more shoshin.”
And that was my wake-up call: if I want more life in my days, I have to notice the magic tucked inside the ordinary.
Adding Life to Your Days
As I try to tuck more magic into the ordinary, here are a few guideposts I keep returning to—little reminders that help me lean into a fuller life in the middle of the swirl of work, parenting, and everything else.
1. Presence > Productivity
The moments that feel the most alive often aren’t the ones where I’m racing through a to-do list. They’re the ones where I slow down long enough to notice what’s right in front of me. Like giving Charlie really long hugs when she first wakes up. Or moving through the simple morning routine together—clothes, teeth, hair, and as much “shoshin” as her heart desires—and actually being there for it instead of rushing her out the door.
✨ Where in your day could you trade productivity for presence? What might change if you lingered in a small, ordinary moment instead of hurrying past it?
2. Rituals > Habits
Rituals are habits with a soul. Some of the most memorable traditions don’t look like much from the outside. When I was little, my mom invented “Adventure Nights.” We’d cook dinner together, then turn off every light in the house and eat by candlelight. We went around the table sharing the “highs and lows” of the day. It’s a magical memory I revisit often, and one I look forward to bringing into my own home when the girls are a little older (and can be trusted to get spoons full of food into their mouths without light to guide them). Whether it ends up being this, or another little ritual that breaks the routine and reminds us that joy doesn’t always have to be scheduled; it can be made, I’m looking for more opportunities for this in my life right now.
✨ What’s one playful tradition from your own childhood you could revive—or reimagine—for your family today?
3. Micro Moments > Big Gestures
Adventure doesn’t always mean a big trip or something fancy or expensive. Sometimes it’s as simple as a spontaneous ice cream run, a Ferris Bueller-style day off, or cooking a new recipe together on a weeknight. When I look back on my life so far, it’s often these micro moments that punctuate the ordinary and make lasting memories.
Yes, the big gestures and vacations are wonderful—but more often than not, when I replay memories in my mind, it’s the tiny moments that surface first.
✨ What small adventure could you plan this week to shake up the routine and create a memory worth reliving?
A Final Thought
Sahil’s story and Jay’s words both point us toward the same truth: we can’t add more days. But we can choose to add more life to the days we already have.
So this week, don’t overthink it. Pick one thing: be fully present in a daily routine, start a playful ritual, or say yes to a tiny adventure. None of it has to be perfect to matter.
Because one day, when you look back, it won’t be the busyness that lingers—it’ll be the little pockets of life you made room for.
Recipe for Success: Adding Life to Your Days
Ingredients: Presence, playful rituals, tiny adventures, ordinary magic
Directions: Slow down. Notice the small things. Say yes to joy tucked inside the everyday.
Results: More connection, more meaning, and days that feel as full as they are fleeting.
