How to Be a Minimalist-ish Parent (3-9 Months)
Some things to know upfront
I’ve been a mom now for 4 days shy of nine months. This is a follow up post to my first one, minimalist-ish parenting for the first three months. I’m writing all this stuff down primarily for my own interests, but also because from time to time, one of you reach out to me and say “I’m expecting, and I have no idea what to expect!” to which I always find it easier to share a blog post than to write the list every time someone asks.
My philosophy on parenting is unchanged — “Love Charlie like she’s our one and only, but raise her like she’s our third child.” which I explained in depth during post #1, so I won’t bore you with that again :)
So what has changed since we last checked in?
Sleeping: Charlie continues to sleep in her own crib and room (she has from night #1) and is a very good sleeper. We put her down at between 7PM and 8PM nightly, after a bath and a bottle. She stays in bed until about 5:30AM each morning. When we collect her from her bed, we often bring her in ours for snuggles and her morning bottle (plus my morning coffee!), now that it’s warm in Chicago, I’m going to start getting her outside each morning for some sunlight and a short coffee walk.
Feeding: My milk dried up at about 4.5/5 months and I switched to formula. There’s a lot of interesting information around conventional baby formulas like Similac and Enfamil. I’ve always been a crunchier, granola, type (I blame my mother for this, who instilled a ‘if you can’t pronounce the ingredients, don’t eat them’ mentality in me), so for our family, Charlie has exclusively had Bobbie or By Heart Formula, as it’s my understanding they have cleaner ingredients, and since Charlie’s primary sustenance is formula, I thought it was important to give her the best I could find and afford. This comparison helped me. So did this one. And this one.
Moving around: I can’t remember exactly when it happened, but sometime between 6 months and 7 months Charlie started crawling. Now, she’s on the freaking move and it makes her so happy! She loves to crawl around and pull herself up on furniture. Just yesterday, she used my body to pull herself up and then she let go, independently standing for a few moments. That was absolutely bananas! I think we’re probably two months out from first steps — how fun! The first nine months are nothing short of being in complete awe as your baby develops and has “new tricks” as we like to say. Charlie’s latest new trick is deliberately waving hello and goodbye. Her little wave is soooo heart warming. She’s also starting to understand “sharing” and when she’s eating dinner, will offer us some of her food. It’s too cute!
Talking: Charlie is a babbling machine! Ronnie swears she says “Dada” but literally everything is dada to her, so there’s that :) Right now, we’re going by: Dada, Mama, Papa (my dad), Yaya (my mom), Granny (Ronnie’s mom), and Grandpa (Ronnie’s dad), oh, and Cooper, “Charlie’s Doggie.”
Playing: Charlie is a very playful little one, her favorite place to play is in the water — bath time, pool time, Cooper’s water bowl, those are her favorite toys. We’ve found there are a few go-to toys that she just adores (I’ll share more on those later. ), but most important to her is being able to move around at-will and discover new things.
Childcare during work hours: We opted for daycare and I have absolutely no regrets. Charlie LOVES it there, our daycare is really great and they even have an app where I can see what she’s up to all day via livestream if I want, in addition, I get pictures of her throughout the day having the time of her life playing with all the other kiddos. Two things that have been unexpectedly awesome about daycare: 1) Charlie isn’t really demonstrating separation anxiety, she’s pretty chill in large groups of people when she gets handed around, I think that daycare has instilled this in her, and 2) while we do have a number of toys at home for Charlie to play with, Daycare has age-appropriate everything and Charlie discovers new toys and new things that make her happy every single day, including playing with the other babies!
Childcare on nights and weekends: Weeknights are so much fun! When Charlie gets home from daycare, we have dinner, hang out and dance or play, then do bathtime, bottle time and bedtime. On the weekends, a few Sundays each month, we have a babysitter come to help us. This is glorious! I get the opportunity to duck out to the gym, get to the grocery store, and spend some me time. Ronnie gets the opportunity to get out in the yard and do housework. I would say building this Sunday treat into our monthly budget has been such a huge help in our life and I definitely recommend it to you if you are an anxious person or need time to decompress from the stresses of work and simply caring for an infant. This job is hard, mama! Set yourself up for success by creating systems and support around you.
Heading into parenting, I didn’t know what to expect or what we’d need, so I asked for it all on my baby registry. Overall, I think this was a good idea… you have no idea what kind of baby you will have until they arrive, and they all have different needs and preferences.
That said, now that I’m nine months in, I thought I would share an update with respect to what we’re actually using. I’m sharing this article not as a “one size fits all” approach to parenting, but simply because I wish I’d seen a list like this when I was expecting and putting together my “must haves” on my registry. My mom has always encouraged me not to be wasteful, so in an effort to help others not be wasteful (there is too much waste in the baby industry!), here goes. This is my take on minimalist-ish parenting.
How to read: If you see this “🆕” in front of a product recommendation, that means it wasn’t in the original post. I hope this helps you sort through what you might need or not need!
Things I read between 3 mos and 9 mos
As I mentioned previously, I am very type A, some people find it slightly annoying, but I try to anticipate what “Future Stef” is going to need anytime I am going through a big life event, and have “Present Stef” support her as best as possible. I’m trying not to over-indulge on all things parenting content, but I have found the work of Dr Aliza Pressman to be really useful:
🆕 I read the book Five Principles of Parenting by Dr Aliza Pressman, which was game-changing. Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. She helps people like Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Garner, and Martha Stewart raise their kids and grandkids to be good humans. She’s got a really pragmatic vibe and I really like her parenting podcast, Raising Good Humans, which has become one of my favorites. Reading this was like going back to school to learn about the most important job I’ll ever have. The notes doc on my phone is so full of notes you’d think that I was studying for finals. The crazy part? About ⅓ of my notes apply to how I can be a better parent to myself, about ⅓ of my notes apply to how I can be a better parent to Charlie, and about ⅓ of my notes apply to how I can be a better parent to everyone else in my life (my hubs, my team, my own parents, etc). I’ve summarized some of my major takeaways here: The Five R’s and here: More Often Than Not, but I recommend you read the book.
The List (broken down by category)
The Nursery
Dresser — Obsessed! Charlie has so much stuff, and I love how sturdy this dresser is, as she’s starting to pull herself up, this thing is not going to tip over
Crib — Needed! and glad we got a convertible crib because we had to move the mattress down already to the lowest setting, also we’ve made do with a total of 3 crib sheets. I swap her crib sheet out 1x/week on “Fresh Sheet Friday.”
Glider — This glider is the infant rocker to sleeper, use it every single night to put Charlie down.
Hamper — Still use daily.
Infant Optics baby monitor — Still use daily.
Diapering (in the nursery, on top of the dresser)
Diaper changer pad — love it and use it like crazy, grateful it’s soft plastic because Charlie sometimes pees on us while we change her and this makes it so easy to wipe down.
🆕 Honest Company Diaper Rash Cream and Spray — Charlie had her first rash and it was insane!!! We ended up having to get a prescription medication to help clear it, but we used that and these diaper rash creams from the Honest Company and they worked great.
Diaper pail — Thank god for this diaper pail. So many poopy diapers.
Bringing baby with you
Stroller — This stroller is the freaking best for going in and out of grocery stores, restaurants, etc. it’s relatively low profile and it works with the bassinet and car seat in the Uppa Baby system. I use it pretty much daily.
Jogging Stroller — I thought this was “extra” when I heard there was a special stroller for jogging, but it’s not extra, if you like the great outdoors and you want to take your baby with you, you need one of these. Charlie and I go on sooo many walks and if it weren’t for this stroller we wouldn’t get to.
Car Seat — Charlie is 9 mos and we’re about 1 month away from needing to switch up to the next car seat, so while we personally love the Uppa Baby system and I don’t think I would do anything different, it is worth noting that you may only get 9 months out of your first car seat (and therefore car seat bases if you go with this system)
Car Seat Base — We got three of these, and I definitely recommend that to anyone who is sharing pick up and drop off duties with their spouse or in-laws! Being able to keep your base in your car and just worry about the car seat is a huge time save!
Baby wearer-carrier 1 / Baby wearer-carrier 2 — TBH Charlie got over these pretty fast, probably 16 weeks or so and it was not her thing anymore.
Diaper bag — Still obsessed with mine.
🆕 We haven’t got it yet, but we are planning to buy the Uppa Baby Knox. I will report back!
Teething
🆕 Charlie has six teeth! When she’s popping them through, these and these are her favorite things to bite on. I thought maybe she’d want something that was icy cold, but she didn’t. She literally was inseparable from these items when she was getting her first four teeth.
🆕 Which leads me to Infant Tylenol the only thing that will save your life when your baby is teething and won’t stop fussing, poor thing!
Around the house
🆕 Guava Family Lotus Play Yard — This is so easy to pack up and bring with you when you travel! But it’s also great for when you are at home and need to put baby down somewhere safe so you can go to the bathroom or answer the door or whatever. I’m sooooo happy we got this.
🆕 Inglesina fast table chair — We actually just keep this at our kitchen counter all day every day. We’re the kind of couple that eats primarily at the counter (as opposed to the dining table) so this works for us. Plus Charlie loves to watch me cook, so when she’s posted up in this seat, we can hang out while I chop and cook!
🆕 Joovy Spoon Baby Walker — has brought Charlie so much joy being able to get around! She started putzing around in this thing around 3 months and hasn’t stopped!
🆕 We have a pool and Charlie loves it, we got her this float and its so secure we feel so safe when she uses it
Baby proofing
So far we’ve only had to baby proof a little, but that’s changing daily, right now we have:
🆕 Retractable baby gates — I like that these are low profile and easy to open and close
🆕 Corner protectors — Charlie is on the go and she’s constantly bumping her noggin on stuff, this makes me feel like she’s a little safer, we also used this for a little bit and that made me feel better too, but it’s useful life was short-lived.
🆕 Outlet protectors — Charlie is fascinated by the outlets, you gotta get these if you have a curious little one
Favorite toys
🆕 Infant Skip Hop Explore - Charlie loves to be able to hang out and stand in one place and discover all there is to mess around with. This was probably her favorite place to be from 3 months (about the time she could hold her head up!) until just recently.. She’s starting to want to walk more and more, so being stuck in one spot isn’t as cool.
🆕 My friend Liz calls this the brain melter — and it is! When Charlie hears this thing go off, she loses it! In a good way.
“Dumber” toys that Charlie also loves:
🆕 Ya girl loooooves a soft, crunchy sounding book, we don’t go anywhere without it
🆕 She also adores her Sophie giraffes, we don’t go anywhere without it
🆕 Oh, her bath toys, which we play with in the bath and out of the bath, she goes bananas for the little characters
Bathtime / Self Care
Baby holder for bath support — use it every single night!
Nail file — best investment ever.
Thermometer — Charlie got sick a good amount after starting daycare, so we used this pretty consistently.
🆕 Nose sucker and booger picker — these baby boogies are no joke. I can’t even! These two items are MUST haves.
🆕 Charlie is still working on growing hair, we use this hair oil because her hair has a more coarse texture so far.
Pumping, bottling, feeding
Elvie Pump — I can’t believe how great this was to me. I pumped until I could pump no more, thank goodness for this pump, I could literally pump during work meetings after I went back.
Comotomo bottles — Literally the only bottles we use! Obsessed, and they’re so soft and cute. Charlie loves holding onto them!
Dr Browns bottle warmer — This wasn’t on my registry, but it should have been. Every night, before I take Charlie for bath time, I drop her bottle in here and hit start. By the time she is bathed, and diapered, and dressed, bottle is warm. I grab it from the warmer, feed her, and she is out like a light.
Charlie loves her food!
🆕 Cerebelly Pouches — these are designed to deliver the optimal nutrition for your baby’s brain based on where it is in development, Charlie loves the Shitake mushroom and the daycare team thinks its so funny that she loves and eats such creative foods!
🆕 Serenity Kids Pouches — the best flavors to introduce your kid to, in hopes they won’t be a picky eater! Charlie loves their salmon, chicken tikka masala, beef kabab and more!
🆕 Amara Organics Mixes — the most delicious baby food on the planet, trust me I’ve tried them all! The corn and black bean are my fav though.
🆕 Serenity Kids Puffs — NGL I was anti-puff because according to Bringing up Bebe children in France don’t snack, and I like the idea of raising a little French baby… but you know what I realized? Charlie likes snacking and watching her joyous little face while snacking makes me happy. She loves these puffs and while I don’t think they are overly nutritious, they’re not bad for her, so we do them.
🆕 Dinner plate — The dinner plate set we got came with a bib for Charlie, but TBH she hates wearing it and it doesn’t stop the mess, we’ve resigned ourselves to just making sure that she eats dinner before bath time so we can hose her down. She does like the freedom of having dinner served to her in a dinner plate, but more often than not, we’re keeping the plate away from her and simply using the spoon with her.
🆕 Where Charlie sits — Inglesina fast table chair best thing ever.
Dressing
Target has the best baby clothes sale section! You can pick up cute little outfits for a fraction of the cost. I always check the sale rack before heading into the main baby aisles.
I try to get Charlie to wear cute shoes, but she kicks them off. Maybe one day!
I think the cutest swimsuit ever came from my SIL, Claire.
🆕 Bibs bibs and more bibs. Get hundreds. These babies drool.
Summary
Okaaaay, that was quite the list, but hopefully, it was a fraction of the lists that you’ve been reading online. Again, at the end of the day, you’ll find the products and routines that are right for you and your family! I only hope this minimalist-ish perspective helps give you another perspective!
