More Often than Not
I wrote that I’d finished the book Five Principles of Parenting by Dr Aliza Pressman not too long ago.
Without going into too much detail, one of my main takeaways from the book was this: so long as a child has one caregiver who is responsive to a child’s needs MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, that child has everything they need to grow up resilient, well-adjusted, and strong.
That’s it, that’s the whole secret to parenting: being there, more often than not, for your little one and their needs as the parent you want to be.
It got me thinking, where does this apply elsewhere in my life?
I want to be perfectly consistent with my self-care of movement and nourishment.
I want to be the perfect wife.
I want to be the perfect mom.
I want to be the perfect daughter.
I want to be the perfect friend.
I want to be the perfect leader.
I want to be the perfect …
And yet, this is not realistic. What is a realistic aim?
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT.
More often than not, I move and nourish my body.
More often than not, I water my marriage by being the wife I want to be.
More often than not, I nurture my relationship with Charlie by being the parent I want to be.
More often than not, I support those I care about by being the daughter, sister, friend, that I want to be.
MORE OFTEN THAN NOT is the pressure relief valve that I, as perhaps more of a perfectionist than I realize, needed in this season of life. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT is a permission slip to:
Be imperfect, some of the time, without losing yourself, nor losing the respect of others.
Be selfish, when you need to be, in order to protect your own peace, without that being at the expense of supporting others’ needs.
Be solid, not going above and beyond, but simply keeping your word, and in the instances you can’t, acknowledging that and making repairs, if needed.
I’ll leave you with this new affirmation that I’ve added to my self-care toolkit for overwhelming days.
“More often than not, I am the [insert title that you’ve been given by others — wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, leader] that I want to be, and today, that is enough.”
<3 You got this.
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