The Right Tools Make a World of Difference
The Right Tools
Cooking is a love language for me, whether it’s Ronnie, Tasha, my dad, my mom, or my girls, cooking for them, or them cooking for me, is always such a joyous occasion.
Tasha, ever the cook, once watched me in my kitchen cobbling together a hodge-podge assortment of “tools”: liquid measuring cups for dry ingredients, actual table spoons for tablespoons, a Pyrex instead of a sheet pan. The list goes on. Eventually she put her foot down, laughed, and ordered me a few key kitchen essentials right then and there as a housewarming gift.
I used to like cooking, but now I love it, and I think it’s because over the years I’ve slowly collected the right tools: A juicer for citrus. A garlic press so I don’t have to mince by hand. A food processor for combining the most delicious sauces. An enormous sheet pan that practically carries my weeknight dinners on its back.
And it got me thinking about a broader truth in life: having the right tools makes a world of difference.
Whether it’s putting together furniture with an electric screwdriver instead of a manual one, or baking muffins with an actual muffin tin instead of improvising with a sheet pan (resulting in…a confused cake situation), the right tool doesn’t just improve the outcome, it actually makes the whole process easier, smoother, often more joyful.
But here’s the deal: whether we’re talking screwdrivers and muffin tins or tools like empathy, compassion, tenacity, and respect, we all start adulthood with different kits. Some tools are handed to us. Some we have to find. Some we don’t even know exist until someone loving taps our shoulder (like Tasha did with me in my kitchen) and points out, “Hey…there’s an easier way.”
What’s more is that everyone starts life with a different set of tools, shaped by family, privilege, personality, trauma, opportunity, and sheer luck.
Some people walk into adulthood with metaphorical stand mixers passed down to them, while others start with nothing but a dull knife. It isn’t fair, and it isn’t equal, but it is something you can learn to see with empathy, and it is something to celebrate when you look back on your life and others and admire just how far you’ve come from your “dull knife” days.
I think part of growing up is recognizing that when someone is struggling, it’s often not because they’re lazy or uninterested. It’s because they were never shown the right tool, or taught how to use it.
So here is my invitation to you:
Take a look at the tools in your kitchen, both the physical ones on your counter and the metaphorical ones you carry through the world… and never stop adding new ones. Never stop upgrading the ones that have worn down. Never stop caring for the ones that need some TLC to stay sharp. And never, never stop sharing the best ones with others.
Choose your tools intentionally. Invest in the ones that make your life easier, clearer, softer, stronger. Invest in yourself the way a cook invests in a good knife: once, thoughtfully, and with the understanding that it will serve you for years.
And when it comes to helping people, know that it’s rarely about pushing them out of the way to fix their problems by doing it yourself. Help often takes the simple shape of noticing the missing tool (knowledge, support, confidence, practice), like Tasha did for me, and offering it with love.
Sometimes the greatest kindness you can extend is saying, “Hey…I think there is an easier way. Want me to show you?”
And as gentle and kind as you are with friends and loved ones when you notice their missing tools… Extend that same kindness to yourself (and your parents, for that matter). One day, I promise you, you’ll look back and realize you were doing the very best you could with the toolbox you had at the time (and so were they as they raised you). Forgive the earlier versions of you who didn’t yet know better. Growth isn’t about shame, it’s about recognizing you did the best with what you had at the time, giving that person love, and simultaneously seeing what upgrades you need to get for your kit, and getting them.
My wish for you is simple: That you always have the right tools within reach. That you never feel embarrassed to ask for the ones you don’t yet have. That you offer your tools freely, generously, without keeping score. And that one day, someone will look at you, in your kitchen, or your office, or your relationships, and say, “Because of them, I learned a better way… Can I show it to you to help make this easier?”
Alright, on that note, here are some tools I think every cook needs in their kitchen.
Here are some tools I think every cook needs in their kitchen
Food Prep
Stovetop
You could do yourself a favor and get a stovetop essentials set like this, or this, or this (note: Costco always has a great set in store too!)
OR, buy individually what I think are the most versatile stovetop essentials:Large Nonstick Sauté Pan with lid (12” diameter, 6-8 quarts)
Oven
Disposables
