There’s a Statute of Limitations on Childhood Traumas
I was seriously wronged by someone in my family. Ronnie grew up in an environment where he witnessed things no child should have to see. Different experiences, but both of us, at one point, had to face the same question:
What do we do with what happened to us?
Somewhere along the way, we came across this idea:
There’s a statute of limitations on childhood trauma.
Not because what happened disappears. And certainly not because it didn’t matter. But because at some point, holding onto it becomes a choice. This doesn’t minimize your experience. It returns your power.
I’ve seen people carry things, big and small, for decades: Mom and dad not showing up. Things that were unfair. Things that were deeply painful… And while those experiences shape us, they don’t have to define us forever.
Because unprocessed pain doesn’t just sit quietly, it shows up in how we love. How we trust. How we show up in our work and our lives. And so at some point, the work becomes yours.
In our house, we say: Feel it. Forgive it. Free yourself.
Feel it so it doesn’t live buried.
Forgive it, not for them, but for you.
Free yourself, so it stops costing you your future.
As a mom, I already know I won’t get everything right. Even with the best intentions, the most love, the deepest care, there will be things I miss. And so one day, my daughters will have their own version of this choice.
My hope is that they choose empowerment over resentment, healing over holding on.
Because while we don’t always get to choose what happens to us, but we always get to choose what we carry forward.
And that choice changes everything.
