Emma Grede’s Rule of 1/3s
When Khloe Kardashian launched Good American, jeans and clothing tailor made for the ‘tall, big’ girls that no one else was designing clothing for, I was immediately enamored. With an inclusive range of sizes (they even invented a new size, which required them to make new machinery to accommodate), and the requirement for the entire line to be merchandised together at retailers like Nordstrom, I thought, ‘Damn, Khloe, you are truly an icon.’
As you know, I love going behind the scenes and learning more about the founding stories, the founding teams, and the founding principles behind any business I find myself enamored with, so I started digging, and I quickly found Emma Grede. A Brit from East London who started an entertainment agency which led to her close ties with Kris Jenner, and ultimately drove her to be co-founder in not one, but three Kardashian businesses. I had to learn more.
Meet Emma Grede
At this time (pre-pandemic), Emma had just a few podcast appearances under her belt sharing her journey and how she got involved with the Kardashians. In these episodes, Emma self-identifies as “a Huster” and “Someone who loved to negotiate deals.” Now, as a career saleswoman, it’s always expansive for me to hear other women whom I aspire to be like, stepping into the fact that they too love sales, negotiating and the art of doing deals… So any chance I get to listen to her, I do.
Emma recently appeared on On Purpose, Jay Shetty’s (Personal Development Guru) show. Here’s the episode. At one point in the episode she talks about pursuing massive goals and ambitions and how she thinks about the journey of doing so through this “Rule of 1/3s.”
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The Rule of 1/3
Hearing this “Rule of 1/3s” has given me a point of reference to come back to in my own career which has brought me a lot of peace, so I wanted to share it with you. Essentially, it’s this:
When you are pursuing a big goal or dream, you are going to:
Spend about ⅓ of your time having your ideal day, living your best life, and doing the exciting, amazing things you’ve dreamt about.
You’ll spend about ⅓ of your time just getting it done – the day won’t suck, but it won’t rock either, you’ll just kind of go through the routine and get shit done.
Finally, about ⅓ of the time, you’re going to have shitty days, days that challenge you, stress you, and really challenge your ability to show up as your highest self… but this is part of the process and frankly, it is what anyone building anything will do.
With social media, we have the ability to find ourselves in an endless loop of self-comparison, infinitely scrolling, and comparing ourselves to countless strangers’ highlight reels, only seeing the ⅓ they’re putting up that represents them living their ideal day. We forget that for every single person who’s showing us ⅓ of their life, we’re not seeing the other ⅔, when they are waking up and just going through the routine, even struggling in their heart of hearts with a tough decision that they really don’t want to have to make.
So what’s my point in sharing all of this?
The lesson here is three-fold
First – come back to this rule of ⅓ anytime you need the reminder that you are doing hard things and the journey will be a mix of great days, average days, and shit days. Remember that you are a badass, you can do hard things, and that there would be no ‘accomplishment’ if there weren’t obstacles, challenges, and opportunities. It’s all part of the process.
Second – remember that when you are scrolling social media, you are oftentimes just seeing the ⅓ people want you to see their great days. Recall that they too have average days, and shit days, and that they are no different than you in that regard. If you’re having a shit day, get off your phone and you’ll probably feel a bit better.
Finally – find women (like Emma, for me) who inspire you, and seek out their advice in any way you can get access to it. I hope one day that I get to meet Emma and connect with her and learn from her directly, but in the event that I don’t, she can be my internet friend and I can be her greatest hype woman any time I hear her on a podcast or show.
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Author’s Note
For all you mamas out there, there’s another really powerful part of the interview that may or may not have brought me to tears when I was listening to this episode on Maternity Leave when I had Charlie.
At about 44mins into the episode, Emma tells the story about when she had her first baby, Grey, and how she was lying in the hospital bed thinking “I have to get back to the office. The reason for all of this was finally clear. Now real life starts.” I felt very seen in this comment.
I’ve always been ambitious, you guys know that. As I’ve stepped into this new role of Mother, I have been trying to reconcile how that ambition felt inside me before versus after having Charlie. I’m still trying to fully understand this, but here’s the best way I have to explain it right now:
Before Charlie, my ambition was ego-driven. Personifying this through a voice might sound something to the effect of “I want to be successful. I want to have accolades. I want to be perceived by the world a certain way, through having accomplishments under my belt at an age whereby those accomplishments would be difficult to have attained.”
After Charlie, my ambition feels grounded, rooted in my core, and in my knowing. Personifying this through voice doesn’t seem so possible, because it’s not a voice, it’s a knowing that I am here to create the best world for Charlie, and part of that is showing her through my actions, my words, and my energy that I am sturdy, I am her foundation, that she can trust me, that she is safe with me, that she is loved by me. The way this love is translated to her is through my stepping into my highest self, an expression of me that shows her and gives her permission to do the same, whatever that should mean.
Anywho, it’s a really great episode. You should go and listen. <3
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