How to Thrive when Moving to a New City
This week marks one year since Ronnie and I moved to the burbs and it’s got me feeling nostalgic. We gave up our more than decade-long-run in high rises overlooking Lake Michigan for our A-Frame on 3 acres.
There was a point in time when I thought we would never leave the city. We loved the hustle and bustle, the access to restaurants, entertainment, and proximity to Lake Michigan. Ultimately, we wanted space to spread out, host our loved ones, store Ronnie’s many toys (boats, snowmobiles, etc) and the city didn’t offer what our lifestyle craved.
While Ronnie adapted quickly to our new life in the burbs, I’ve found it harder.
My identity as a Chicago-girly was such a big part of me: “successful, young, city girly with a big job, living in a high rise with a great view of Lake Michigan, and Friday night plans at hot new restaurants with friends.”
This move, while exciting, also kind of crushed my soul. Can anyone relate?
So how do you heal your soul? How do you forge a new identity? How do you let go of the old so you can fall in love with the new? For me — I realized you might just have to force yourself to try.
But when you try, you might start to find new things to love:
Things to love about yourself and who you become in a new place,
Things to love about the people you meet in the new place, and
Things to love about the discoveries you’ll make and then crave in your new place.
As time passes, you notice yourself relinquishing the chokehold you had on the old, and realize that you’re sort of falling head over heels for the new without even trying.
Here’s a few things I’ve been falling head over heels for in our community that have started making my new home actually feel like home.
My Facialist — She gives my skin and my soul life! We giggle for about 20 mins together while she cleans my skin and does my extractions before settling into a peaceful quiet. Having someone who genuinely cares about my well-being and who takes care of me in a meaningful way has been really wonderful. There’s something about the rhythm of seeing her once a month has created this wonderful moment of reflection each month where its like she holds up a mirror to reflect to me my evolution and deepening of ties to the community.
My new fav restaurant (and dish!) — There’s this fabulous Italian restaurant that gives major city vibes down the street. They have this Rigatoni alla Vodka with Crumbled Sausage that melts in your mouth. Whenever I am craving a night on the town, Ronnie and I belly up to their fabulous marble bar, order dirty martinis and shamelessly flirt with each other while chowing down on pasta and fresh bread. There’s something about the spontaneity of our date nights here that has made me start romanticizing these special nights on the town (my new town!).
My new fav grocery market — There’s this really special meat market and grocery store the next town over with the best cuts of steak you can imagine. My husband, ever-the-social-butterfly made friends with the owner one day bonding over the bourbon selection in store, since the owner and his wife have become good friends of ours. There’s something so special about shopping in this local market, running into the owner who knows me by name and knowing my dollars go right to him and his family that makes me proud to be shopping local and proud to be part of this thriving little community.
So my advice in this story?
Home is where you find your community, your routines and your people that fill your heart with joy. Home is what you make of it. It’s hard leaving a community and an identity behind, but if you don’t try to build your new community and forge your new identity, you may miss the opportunity to fall in love with the new place.
This probably wasn’t my best writing, but it was on my mind today. I hope it struck a chord with someone. Xx.
