God First, Family Second, and Everything Else is a Blessing
"God first, family second, and everything else is a blessing." – Kris Jenner
I read and re-read Kris Jenner's autobiographical book every year. I’m fascinated by her, her approach to life, motherhood, friendship, and career. If there’s any one icon in this world I’d love to sit down with for a long coffee or tea, or heck, a three-martini (the dirtier, the better!) date, it would be her.
When she said these words: “God first, family second, and everything else is a blessing,” I thought to myself: Huh. Isn’t that a way to think about life?
My Evolution with Faith
When I think about how Kris’s words mirror my own experience with faith, it’s interesting.
Historically, I resisted organized religion. I was raised Catholic but never felt aligned with it. In high school, I even told my parents I wanted to be Buddhist, and was angry that they’d baptized me Catholic, as a baby, without my consent.
I might be projecting, but I think there are a lot of people like me out there: kids “forced” by well-meaning parents to go to church, religious education classes, Sunday mass, confirmation prep, and who bolted the second we were free. We didn’t want to be there, so we rejected the whole thing. But eventually, many of us felt like something was missing from our earthly experience. We found ourselves craving a connection to something higher… even as we struggle to reconcile that craving with our disinterest in organized religion and in the ‘God’ we were raised to believe in.
For me, the craving was triggered by the tragic loss of a 20-year-old friend with big ambitions and an even bigger heart. I couldn’t fathom that she would be taken from the world so young, with so much ahead of her. That grief cracked something open in me. I began flirting with faith again, not praying to the God of my catechism classes, but praying to my late grandfathers, asking for their help through this time. As my guardian angels, they became my bridge to faith, and my personal version of God.
Later, when I became a mom, I found myself reflecting again on the role of faith in raising my kids. I dove into research and kept encountering the same truth: children raised with a foundation of faith have dramatically lower rates of depression and suicide than those without. As someone who struggled with both in high school (as I share in my book), this struck me to my core: Simply by helping my girls believe in a higher power, whatever form that takes, I could give them a tool for life. A compass for when they inevitably face challenges: the small but real trials of girlhood (like changing bodies and shifting friendships), as well as the life-trajectory changing bigger decisions in life (romantic relationships, engaging in behavior like substance-using or rule-breaking, as well as finding pursuits aligned with their values). Faith won’t eliminate their hardship nor will it be the only factor guiding their decision-making, but it does have the potential to steady the ground beneath them and give them a bridge to someone other than parents or friends to help guide them down the right path.
Why “Faith First, Family Second” Feels Grounding
While at first I didn’t get Kris Jenner’s order of operations, “God First, Family Second.” As I’ve let it marinate, there’s something about this order that actually feels really grounding.
If faith comes first, it assumes some sort of divine plan or guidance for life. It suggests that everything has purpose. Faith says: He guided you to this world, He guided you to this family, and He will guide you to every other blessing in your life, even when the reality in front of you doesn’t feel like a blessing.
The perspective brings peace. It eliminates the pressure to control every outcome. It allows us to show up with trust that we are being divinely guided in everything and that because of this, it will all be okay, even when it feels like the sky is falling.
It’s almost like faith is the core ingredient of life itself—what water or oxygen is to the body, faith is to the soul. It hydrates, nourishes, and breathes life into your experience, making room for everything else to grow on top of it.
Faith at Home
Having a foundation of faith doesn’t have to look like the religion you grew up with. For our family, it looks like nightly prayers with Charlie and Ronnie.
Every evening, once the bath and bedtime routine is complete, and the lights are off, we snuggle up in bed and pray. Sometimes Charlie asks, “Do you want to pray to God?” Other nights, I’ll ask her. We hold hands and give thanks.
Most of the time, our prayer follows a simple script:
“Dear God, thank you so much for the memories in my brain, the oxygen in my lungs, the strength in my muscles, the love in my heart, and the joy in my bones. Thank you for the roof over my head, for my family, for my friends, and for my teachers. I love and pray for my family [she lists names], my friends [more names], and my teachers [final names]. Thank you so much for everything, God. I love you. Amen.”
It’s a simple and engaging prayer for her (she loves coming up with the list of names of people each night who we pray for), but powerful too. She learns to express gratitude, to pray for the health and happiness of loved ones, and to see life as full of blessings. For us, it has become a grounding ritual that roots our home in gratitude and connection.
An Invitation for You
If organized religion has never resonated with you, I want to invite you into this conversation. Faith doesn’t have to look like pews, sermons, or hymns. It doesn’t have to look like confession or a Sunday service.
Faith can live in everyday rituals and practices that connect you to something greater: a nightly prayer, a walk through nature, honoring ancestors, or simply pausing to say thank you.
If this has sparked something in you, here are three questions to reflect on:
What forms of faith already live in your life, rituals, gratitude, connection with loved ones who’ve passed, or even time in nature?
What would it look like to build a simple practice that anchors your family, like a nightly gratitude, a journaling practice, a ritual walk, or honoring ancestors?
How might your life feel different if faith became a foundation, not an afterthought?
Amen
P.S. I recently lost my grandma, which is what prompted me to write this article and think more deeply about faith this past month. Sometimes, when I need a moment to pray just for myself, I turn on this song and let the lyrics and the spirit move me—to tears, to dance, to whatever my body needs. It’s called The Blessing.
Recipe for Flirting with Faith
What you’ll need: The willingness to embrace faith, love and compassion in your heart, a simple ritual to anchor your days.
How to make:
Lean into prayer, reflection, or connection with something greater.
Fold in a new daily ritual of giving thanks to God, ancestors, or the universe for the small and the big.
Sprinkle in requests for help when you need divine guidance.
How to Enjoy: Share the practice with your family, making it a nightly, grounding ritual. Let faith bring you peace when life feels uncertain. Watch as blessings reveal themselves in unexpected places. Revisit this “recipe” often—like water or oxygen, it never runs out, and it sustains everything else in life.
