When One Door Closes, The Third Door Opens
The Door That Everyone Ignores is The Portal Connecting You from Where You Are to Where You Want To Be
Most people only see two ways in.
There’s the front door, where the line wraps around the block—everyone clutching their tickets, following the rules, waiting patiently for their turn. Then there’s the VIP door, the velvet rope you glide through only if you have the access, the credentials, the connections.
But the truth?
There’s always a third option. And the moment you simply believe that a third option exists, the world starts revealing opportunities other people walk right past. That’s the magic of The Third Door.
The Third Door has led me to more places than I could’ve ever predicted: from getting posted on Khloé Kardashian’s Instagram and “modeling” for Good American; to attending the Super Bowl (not once, but three times… for free); to sitting front row at a Theo Von show without a ticket; to walking into a closed-door conference with no pass just to meet the very author of The Third Door, Alex Banayan, and hear him speak.
The Third Door is the portal that connects you between where you are and where you want to be…
What Is the Third Door?
The Third Door presents itself in a thousand different forms, but you’ll know you need to look for one the moment you want something… and the conventional paths clearly aren’t going to work:
You want to go to the Super Bowl, but the ticket prices might as well be tuition at Harvard.
You want to meet someone you deeply admire, but you have zero connection to them.
That’s when the Third Door appears, not as a guarantee, but as a possibility.
How I Learned About the Third Door
I learned about this concept from Alex Banayan, who, in his twenties, wanted to leave college to interview the world’s smartest and most successful people. Not just any people: Spielberg, Lady Gaga, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg… and about 100 others. He had no connections. No roadmap. No traditional way in. So he created his own. And did exactly that, and wrote about it in his book The Third Door.
The premise: most people only see the front door or the VIP door… but the truly successful find the unmarked entrance around the side.
This idea changed my life, at a time when I really needed the message, and since has become an ethos for how I live, work, and move through the world.
Here are just a few times that I took The Third Door myself, and what each taught me.
Times I Took the Third Door (and What Each Experience Taught Me)
1. Going to the Super Bowl Three Times for Free
Paying for a ticket was off the table, but Ronnie and I wanted to go. So we looked for a third option… We learned that vendors contracted by the NFL needed volunteers on game day, and (some) volunteers were then admitted to the stadium for free. We had a friend on the distribution list for one of these companies, and so Ronnie persuaded him to forward the opportunity to us, under the pretense that the volunteer gig was a sales gig, and sales was our superpower. When we got accepted for the first time, we knew our ticket to get invited back was going to be knocking our sales # out of the park, so we went all in making ourselves the first vendor fans saw when they walked in, had the best messaging and positioning, getting us the highest average order size, and as a result we were the highest-grossing sales crew in the company. Year after year, we got invited back until the company lost its contract.
What I learned? There is always a way. And the moment you believe that, the door reveals itself.
2. “Modeling” for Good American (& Getting Posted by Khloé Kardashian)
When Good American launched, I was obsessed. At the time, I was building my business and knew that being a GA model would give me instant legitimacy with the women I wanted to serve. I went to an open casting call in Chicago. I got a callback. (Woo!) And then… I didn’t make the cut. I was crushed. But also? Something in me snapped awake: Why not me? Why was I waiting for a gatekeeper to decide whether I could represent a brand whose values I embodied perfectly?
So I invested in my favorite GA clothes, booked a photographer, created an inspiration board for a fitness shoot (at the time GA was all in on Athleisure). Did my own shoot. And posted. Consistently. Proudly. Tagging GA every time.
Then, just a few short weeks later, Good American posted me. Then they posted me again. And then Khloé posted me. All of a sudden I was “a model” for Good American. Sure, it looked different than I expected, and no, I wasn’t paid to model for them, but also… I got the exact outcome that I wanted… A pipeline of future customers that found me through the clout that “modeling” for Good American gave me.
What I learned? Invest in yourself, believe in yourself, and annoint yourself. If the door doesn’t open for you, build your own damn entrance.
3. Sitting Front Row for Theo Von Without a Ticket
On a trip to LA with a colleague who loved comedy as much as I did, we decided that we were going to go to the Standup club on Sunset Blvd. We bought tickets for the 7PM show not knowing who would be headlining that night (it wasn’t posted publicly). Upon arrival, we learned that 7pm show headliner was going to be Dane Cook (what a callback!), but the 9PM headliner was none other than Theo Von, who BOTH of us adore been gushing about just earlier that day. As fate would have it, so did the host walking us to our seats... We joked about our favorite bits on the way in, and before he walked off, I asked about the sold out 9pm show:
“Any chance you’d let us stand in the back during the 9PM show just to catch Theo’s set?”
He paused. Tilted his head. And said:
“You know what? I’ll do you one better.” and told us to stay in our seats after the 7PM show, at which point he’d “come get us”.
We stayed. He came back for us. Then, he took us to the VIP lounge. And after he and the crew had flipped the room for the 9PM show, he walked us to our front-row seats for Theo.
What I learned? Sometimes the Third Door isn’t a door at all. It’s just a stranger who shares the same passion with you, and wants to make magic happen for you, simply because you asked.
4. Getting Into a Closed-Door Conference to Meet Alex Banayan
Alex was speaking at conference in Chicago (my hometown) I had zero business being at. No ticket. No invitation. No access. I’d slid into his DM’s to see if he would be up to meet for coffee while he was in town, to which he responded kindly that he was not available to do so, but suggested that I come see him speak at the conference. The catch? This was a private, closed-door conference, for which you could not BUY a ticket. You had to be invited. I thought about telling Alex about this and asking if he could get me in, but then I remembered that this man literally WROTE THE BOOK on taking The Third Door, and I surely was not going to miss the opportunity to meet him while he was in town.
So… I showed up. I got to the hotel where he was speaking early, and dressed the part. I figured out that the conference was being hosted in the Penthouse Suite, and observed as people arrived for the day. About an hour before the conference start time, I rode the elevator to the top floor. Smiled at the registration women.
And said the shortest, truest version of the story: “I don’t have a pass, but your keynote speaker, Alex Banayan, invited me to be here.”
He’d apparently already checked in and they thought he was great…. They lit up, told me that he was going on at 2PM, and that they would save me a seat.
I saw Alex speak that day from the back of a room that I had no business being in. I shook his hand afterwards and let him know that I took The Third Door to be there. He signed my copy of the book and I saw my way out, thanking the kind ladies at registration as I made my way to the elevator.
What I learned? Sometimes you just have to show up and “walk in like you own the place.” Confidence opens doors that credentials can’t.
What All These Stories Have in Common
Across every Third Door moment of my life, the same pattern emerges:
1. You Must Get Clear on What You Want. Hyper-specific clarity is the flashlight that reveals where the Third Door might be hiding.
2. You Must Accept All Possible Outcomes. You cannot take the Third Door without risk—social risk, emotional risk, ego risk.
Nine times out of ten, the shot might not land. But that tenth time? It changes everything.
3. You Must Turn the Knob. This is the part no one can do for you. It was terrifying to walk up to the conference check-in table. Terrifying to ask the host about Theo. Terrifying to model for GA after being told no. But like any muscle, confidence grows through use. The more you turn the knob, the more your life compounds in your favor. Eventually, you wake up in a completely different reality… because you were willing to do the one thing most people never do: You tried the goddamn door.
Four Third Door “Hacks”
These are the practices that make Third Door magic more predictable:
• Content-Based Networking: People always need platforms. Share their work, uplift their voice, give generously—and you’d be shocked how quickly doors open.
• Invest in Yourself: Stop waiting to be chosen. Anoint yourself.
• Ask. People like helping people they like. Asking is a superpower most people never use.
• Be Patient. The universe reveals the Third Door on its own timeline. White-knuckling the outcome and the timeline blocks the magic. Surrender the “how” and “when.”
How to Turn This Advice Into Your Reality… Right Now
So you want to experience the magic of The Third Door, huh? Let’s do it… Choose something in your life that feels “impossible.” Your version of “I want to go to the Super Bowl for free.” Now ask:
What are 3 ways that could become possible? And then make a list… for example:
Someone has an extra ticket and invites me.
A company I work with has a box and brings me as a guest.
I befriend a staff member from the team playing.
Then ask:
What are 3 strategies for each scenario? And again, make a list… for example:
Scenario: “A friend invites me.”
Identify who in my network has gone before or talks about wanting to.
Pay attention to who posts about going this year and befriend them.
Talk about my Super Bowl goal everywhere, in person and online.
And then?
Be patient. Let the path unfold.
Because once you start looking, I promise you Third Doors start appearing everywhere.
