Jamie Kern Lima’s Self-Worth Rule
There’s a line from Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima that stopped me in my tracks:
“You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of what you believe you are worthy of.”
I’ll let you read that again… It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you believe you deserve. That difference, she argues, is the missing multiplier between high-achievers living wonderful and fulfilled lives overflowing with purpose, and those still chasing the dragon and feeling empty. If you’ve ever wondered why some of the rich and famous can live really full, long, beautiful lives, while others have lives littered with addiction, failed romantic partnerships, and heck even crime sometimes… Jamie would probably argue the root of these issues is the belief those people have in their own self-worth.
The Real Barrier Isn’t Net Worth—It’s Self-Worth
At one point in the book, Jamie writes, “We don’t have a net worth problem, we have a self-worth problem.” This got me good.
No matter how much you achieve, if your internal belief doesn’t expand alongside your success, you’ll never feel like it’s enough... you’ll be stuck on the achievement treadmill, effectively running in place with no end in sight. The promotions, accolades, and milestones will feel strangely hollow because your inner equation is out of balance.
That’s why she created what I’ll call the Self-Worth Matrix, but she calls the “True Fulfillment Equation” a way to measure not just what you do, but how deeply you believe in your own enoughness.
Here’s how it works. There are four keys to true fulfillment:
Self-Worth – your unshakable belief that you are enough, independent of circumstances.
Self-Confidence – your belief in your ability to do things.
Growth – your commitment to learning, expanding, and becoming.
Contribution – your sense of giving, serving, and making an impact.
The formula looks like this:
(Self-Confidence + Growth + Contribution) × Self-Worth = Fulfillment
You can have the highest levels of growth, confidence, and contribution, but if your self-worth is low, the entire equation collapses. Self-worth is the fulfillment multiplier.
Most importantly, this is the result of the math behind Jamie’s Self-Worth Rule: You can’t out-achieve a belief that you’re not enough.
Why Self-Worth Is the Multiplier
We often think fulfillment will come when we reach the next goal: when we finally land the job, grow the business, hit the number. But Jamie flips that narrative: fulfillment doesn’t come after worthiness. It’s born from it.
When you know you’re worthy of being seen, of resting without guilt, of standing fully in your story, you start taking braver actions. You stop shrinking to fit spaces that aren’t your destiny. You challenge, create, and contribute from a place of fullness, not lack. That’s why she says:
“You do not rise to what you believe is possible. You fall to what you believe you are worthy of.”
Because our goals are only as strong as the self-worth they rest on.
A Practical Reflection: Your Own Matrix
How do you take this and apply it in your own life? Jame encourages us to literally score ourselves in each category (=Self-Confidence, Growth, Contribution, and Self-Worth) on a scale of 1 to 10. Add the first three, then multiply by your self-worth score.
Trigger warning: the first time you do this, it could illuminate a pretty brutal truth about how you really feel about where you are in life.
If your fulfillment feels off, chances are your multiplier is low, if that’s the case, that’s your signal to stop trying to do more, and start working on believing more.
Self-worth work isn’t glamorous. It often means unlearning old stories of needing to perform, perfect, or earn love. But it’s the only work that multiplies everything else. (My recommendation? Head to To Be Magnetic’s Podcast or potentially even sign up for a year of their Pathway Membership, the work in that program has been an absolute game-changer for me).
Living the Rule
To live by Jamie’s Self-Worth Rule is to decide that your value isn’t up for negotiation. It’s not something you earn, it’s something you remember. When you believe you are worthy, worthy of being seen, of failing and trying again, worthy of joy, of love, of rest, your entire equation changes, and when you change your equation, you change your life.
